


you have no home (i’ll help you find it)

by Honee



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Adoption, BAMF Reader, Cottagecore, Gen, L’GUNBERG GROUPCHAT U DID THIS, MOTHERFUCKeRS, Reader-Insert, THIS WAS MEANT TO BE A JOKE BUT THEN I CARED TOO MUCH, Trauma, Yes this is to cope with the 6th of January stream, also updates, and many streams before that, because i am gay, but still adoption, except, gender neutral reader, i bet ur proud of urself arent u, i guess, ill add more on god this is gonna be one of those fics with 700 tags and im not sorry, im here, im queer, im ready to be a parental figure, is this enough tags, looks pointedly at every other adult in the dream smp, none of that mary sue yn bullshit, not legal adoption, oh god wait i should put actual tags, reader is about to be the first adult that hasnt traumatised these kids i guess, thats a lie i made reader op but AS A TREAT, thats the excuse but it works, the baby is actually three traumatised teens, what can i say im just rly funny, will be slow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:41:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28599393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Honee/pseuds/Honee
Summary: They stare at you. No, not at you.Three pairs of eyes are fixated on the shimmering dark purple axe that you hold over your shoulders.You can put the pieces together easily enough. With a muffled thump, it falls to the dirt behind you.Those three pairs of eyes blink as you crouch down several feet away from them and hold out a hand.“Hi.”
Relationships: ONLY FRIENDSHIP - Relationship, and some mild adoption, literally all platonic - Relationship, no romance here motherfuckers
Comments: 13
Kudos: 148





	1. Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> The 6th of January stream completely destroyed my faith in any of the characters aside from the kids. So my dumb ass went fuck it, and screamed loudly at my friends as i wrote a fix-it reader insert.
> 
> My wattpad fame has still stuck with me, i guess.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a discussion takes place.

Hmm.

They’re a funny one, aren’t they?

**A little farmer, in a little village, in the middle of nowhere.**

What makes _them_ so special?

**What always does. They’re so very human.**

You and your humans.

**I am fond of them. I know you favour the hybrids.**

I favour _no one._

 **So you do not care about those three?**

...

**You cannot lie to me. I know you.**

And I know you.

**And you know me.  
**

Yes.

**You know that I would never mislead you.**

You _believe_ they are the right choice. That doesn’t not mean you _are_ right.

**That is true.**

You could be wrong.

**I could.**

Yet, I trust you.

**And I, you.**

**And they shall learn to trust each other.**

They have been wronged before. Many times.

**I know.**

This could all go wrong.  
  
They do not deserve to be hurt again.

**I thought you did not care.**

You know me.

 **I** **do.**

 **Such** **fondness** **, though you are too stubborn to admit it.**

Such a human quality, wouldn’t you agree?

**I would.**

You love me for it?

**I do.**

**Now hush, there is still work to be done.**

Yes, yes.

I...seem to have forgotten.

What is their name again?

**It is...**


	2. Magic Raccoons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You think you have raccoons.
> 
> Magic raccoons.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AaAAA I'm here im here I'm awake im posting

You think that there are raccoons stealing your crops.

There's nothing you can prove so far. There’s never a mess, never enough missing that you can honestly say with full confidence that something has gotten into your stores. But almost always, as soon as you walk through the doors to the room in which you store your harvest during the cold seasons, something is off.

You think you would have caught the furry buggers by now, but don't seem to come every night, nor ever other night. They come randomly and somehow they always pick the night where you don't stay up trying to catch a glimpse of them.

Those nights you stay up leave you exhausted in the morning, so you pass out early the next night and in turn wake up with the tiniest amount of your stores missing once again. So then you try to stay up late to see the raccoons and thus, the cycle continues again and again.

You don't actually know what you're going to do once you find the creatures, you don't want to hurt them. You just need to see that they're real. For your own sanity and pride, because damn it, you're not sure whether you're going insane or not. And as far as you're concerned, there is no way for these rodents to be getting into your store room.

You've made sure there are no holes in any of the walls about a dozen times and you always double check that you’ve locked your doors at night. And only you have the key, so how the hell are these raccoons getting in? ...Maybe they’re magic raccoons.

Magic raccoons? Ugh, that’s it, you’ve officially lost it.

You know the desperation and sleep deprivation is clear on your face, from the way the locals stare at you as you set up your market stall on the next early sunday morning in the nearby village, Most of them are too polite to say anything, instead making light conversation with you as you trade back and forth.

You force a smile onto your face and pretend that you are not running through the events of the past morning in your head. You’re not sure you’re fooling anyone but you’re too busy thinking about what you had happened that very morning.

_It had started out the exact same of any of the other mornings where you tried to stay up; you had woken up to sunlight in your face, groaning and muttering curses as the light started off a horrifically strong headache that was likely going to bother you for the rest of the day.  
_

_After you had sworn enough to put even the most vulgar of people to shame, you had pulled yourself upwards off the wooden floor, ignoring the aching of your back (you weren't that old, yet!) and stumbled towards the locked supply door._

_You knew what to expect; you would open the door and check your crops and there would either be a few things missing or nothing missing at all and you would spend another day pulling your hair out over these insanely smart animals._

_At least, that's what you thought would happen. Instead, as you stumbled towards the door, something was different._

_You paused for a moment, one hand resting on the key you would use to unlock your door, the other on the doorknob. There had been a faint noise coming from the room. It would have been unnoticeable to almost anyone else, they would have simply brushed it off as the creakiness of old wood._

_Not you, though. You had known your farmhouse and your rooms better than anyone, after living here for as long as you had. Those sounds hadn’t been normal. And that meant only one thing… that something else had made those noises. You stayed as still as possible, holding your breath as you slowly turned the key._

_Click._

_You had heard the movements pause and internally swore, before pushing down on the handle. This would likely be your only chance to find your culprits-_

**_Now!_ **

_You dashed into the room just as an apple fell to the floor, but the thing that would have been holding it was nowhere to be found. Only dust remained, glittering in the light you had brought into the room by opening the door._

_If you had looked closer at the time, you might have noticed that some of the dust had an odd purple tint to it, before it faded away._

_You had stared at the apple as it rolled, the movements slowing before bumping against your foot and coming to a halt._

_You had then sworn. Loudly._

“You look like shit.”

Remember how I said that most of the villagers were too polite to say anything about how awful you looked? Yeah, I said that for a reason. You’d been selling to this village a long time and because of that, you were friendly with pretty much everyone. Including the well-known assholes of the village.

So you weren’t surprised at the comment you had just got. So when you look up at the person standing outside your stall, you raise an eyebrow. This isn’t one of the village assholes, at least not one you’ve met before. Still, you let out a light laugh at that, the kid in front of you seems honest at least. You can respect that.

“I’m sure I do. What can I get for you?”

Greyish-blue eyes that are full of distrust and blond hair that is so dirty you would have mistaken it for brown if not for the golden strands shining in the sun, a teenage boy stands before you, a frown on his face and his hand clenched in a fist.

He’s so damn skinny. You wonder when the last time he ate a proper meal was.

You take it all in, probably staring at him longer than you should, the tightening of his fist clearly showing his discomfort. There’s something that flickers in his eyes; anticipation, preparation, fear. As though he’s just waiting for you to cause a scene. He tenses, like he’s getting ready to run. You glance down at the tightened fist before turning away and busying yourself with your crops.

He relaxes if only slightly, seemingly relieved to no longer be under your stare. You start talking again, in an attempt to get rid of the tension.

“I’ve got a whole bunch to sell, just before winter comes up. So everything comes with a discount.” A lie. It slips easily off your tongue. You’re no stranger to bullshitting when you need to and your plan right now is to give this kid as much food as his twig-like arms can carry.

He grunts, unfurling his fist and showing a few measly coins. Not one for talking unless it’s to insult someone...you can work with that. All he’s got is a few gold, barely enough for a couple of days worth of groceries. But like I said, you’re good at bullshitting.

“That’ll do.” He empties his hand into your own and you smile gently as you place the coins in your container, You open a couple of bags and get to work. Slipping some fruits, berries, carrots and other vegetables into them (and if you drop in a sizable handful of coins into one of the bags, that’s for you to know and the teenager to find out in his own time).  
  
He doesn’t say anything as you pass the bags over. But you know he knows that you had almost quadrupled the amount of food compared to what he could actually afford. You can see it in the way his eyes flicker back and forth, from the bags to you.

You’re not sure what emotion shows in his eyes, but you think it might be a little bit of hope. Which quickly turns into apprehension.

“What do you want from me? Repayment? Is this out of pity? I don’t do fuckin’ pity gifts.” He hisses sharply, now looking seconds away from throwing the bags on the floor and running. You raise your hands in a gesture of peace.

“Like I said, I just have a lot of crops. I’m a farmer who lives out by the forest-“ You nod in the direction of your home and you swear, something like recognition flickers across his face, “- and this is the only sale I’m doing before winter approaches. So I want it all gone. Can’t do too much with rotting carrots.” He still looks unsure. You sigh. “If you’re looking for a way to make it even, I've got an idea.”

He narrows his eyes. You roll your own.

“Tell me your name, kid. I have a feeling this isn’t the last we’ll see of each other and it would be rude of me not to know who my new acquaintance is.”

“I’m not a kid.” The blond says, automatically. You raise an eyebrow and his face turns a shade of pink from embarrassment.

“Theo.” He practically spits out. You grin, brightly. A vast contrast from the foul look on your customers face.

“That’ll do. Have a nice day, Theo.”

Theo nods stiffly in acknowledgement, before turning his back to you and trudging away. He is scrawny and dirty and you haven’t seen him around before; yet you recall the recognition on his face, and know that he certainly seems to know who you are.

…

The cogs turn and the lightbulb in your head turns on. Oh.

You think you’ve just found your raccoon.

**Author's Note:**

> comments inspire me ;)


End file.
